it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
