Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
