A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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