I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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