we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
