I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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