in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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