You really coming over, don't trick.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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