can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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