So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
