MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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