Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
