Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
