Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
