I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
