I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
