PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
