bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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