her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
