so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
