Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
