My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
