Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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