Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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