Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
