shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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