Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize