I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
