He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
