just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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