This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
