well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
