and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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