No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
