i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
