Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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