why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
