It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
