My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
