if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
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