That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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