looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
