you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
