Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
