we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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