You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
