i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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