Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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