she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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