I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
