It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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