this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Randomize
