sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
