Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
